Chapter 1

Right this is where the real fun begins. I dedicate this first chapter to bethand Carrie my to best friends. Read this and marvel at the complete and utter nonsense it front of you. thank you.

Okies, so I'm Mouse and this story starts with me sat in the office of Dave eating a mars bar, I dont know why a mars bar, I prefer dairy milk, but you know, Dave probs gave it to me. Any ho, we were discussing very important matters. Such as our plot to take over the world... oh no, wait, that was in a dream I had. We were discussing some very depressed man. Oh, my head teacher. "he's not a happy bunny," Dave says.
"so feed him a carrot," I shrug, "He worries to much. He'll get over it." Dave shot me a light look. oh, sorry, I ment a DARK look, "I doubt that a carrot would be right for a Turkey born and bred in Britian wait a second, the headmaster i never knew i had is now a TURKEY????? what the..?? I am sure that Turkeys eat corn or something. Anyhow, at least they are letting you back in school," he says, "your letter showed your maturity and your ability to make friends with girls who are OK at spelling. This will be useful later on in the stor- I mean in you life. Yosh Defo..." He began muttering under his breath and I shook my head; those male Baiku fan girls sure were an insane group of people. The next thing he said confirmed that: "I am actually starting to think that this is a cry for help!" This actually confuzelifieded my for about two seconds coz I'm sure the whole point of a cry fro help was that you could hear it. Then I realized that he meant it metaphorically. Darn, so confusing. Suddenly, the clock in the corner began too sing the 'Dora the explorer' theme tune and I knew that my time with Dave was up. I didn't bother saying Bye; he was too busy singing along: "boots and super cool explorer Dora. grab your backpack..." I left the room and nearly took a flying lesson after tripping over this girl sat conveniently in the way of my exit from the room. She looked up from her copy of 'Peace Order' wait, its published????? and smiled a very lazy smile.
"he's not in a good mood," I warned her.
"Is he ever?" She stood up slowly in supermodel way (though not as sexily as that good speller in my form). She was wearing a potato sack. Oh no, wait, it says that she would have still looked cool in a potato sack, she was wearing her posh-school uniform, the pink elephant on her head squishing her honey colored corkscrew curls only slightly. She looked exotic, some how. Maybe it had something to do with the regulation Hawaiian Lia around her neck. Or matbe the compulsery tribal paint on her face and knees. I dont know. I watched her leave the waiting room and enter Dave's. I wonder how she got the male fan girl as a gardien angel. Thats usually a last resort, saved for when your life gets really bad. Iwonder, whats her story? Nobody ever had an apointment with Dave when their life was just peachy. Kind of a TRAVESTY really.